Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A George Orwell Dystopia? Nope. China.

China is making its citizens change their names. An article on the front page of the New York Times today said that "Seeking to modernize its vast database on China's 1.3 billion citizens, the government's Public Security Bureau has been replacing the handwritten identity card that every Chinese must carry with a computer-readable one, complete with color photos and embedded microchips." The computers the bureau uses, however, only read 32,252 of the 55,000 Chinese characters. The result is that many Chinese with obscure characters in their names can't get new cards unless they change their names to something more common. Wow. What's with punching individuality in the face? No mames.

Sunday, April 5, 2009


I was walking down the street in New York City today, and I saw a man well over six feet wearing a hat. The kind of hat that you see on a guard at a palace in England. That kind of hat. And he was just walking, listening to his ipod, looking very busy. He had a lip ring and the rest of his outfit was very....fit rockstar. You know how those guys like the strokes and hot hot heat wear like slacks and a vest over a buttondown? That's what he was wearing. And then there was that hat. People are strange. That Doors song has been running through my head so often lately. Just for that reason. I keep seeing people like this, looking a little on the insane side, just walking along minding their own business. And i think to myself, people are strange. And then inevitably there's that song.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Save the PLANET, Buy a SIGG!!

 Lets face it.  The invention of the water bottle is about as smart as the Hummer.  The fact is that 86% of plastic water bottles wind up as trash that takes over 1,000 years to biodegrade.  NO MAMES.

 We all wanna do our part to save the environment but for most of us, converting our homes to solar and buying a hybrid car aren't options.  Something we can all do that is simple is to stop buying plastic bottled drinks.  Buy a SIGG.   For $20, you can save the planet and look fashionable at the same time.  I mean, there are plenty of designs to choose from, they come in all sizes, and since their made out of aluminum, they last FOREVER.  Plus, they're Swiss made; can't go wrong.  So hurry over to your local REI, Whole Foods, Dicks or whatever, and buy one!  A SIGG = reduced impact on environment. Plain and simple.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Lame bloggers

So our last post was on February 2 of 2009.  Any thoughts Scarlet?  NO MAMES. We can't start promoting this blog if there's nothing posted on it.  Sure I haven't written on it either since waaaay before your last post but I really wanna change that.  Lets stop being lame.  Lets make what we so clearly envisioned in our heads in the summer a fucking reality.  I know your busy; I am too.  But after giving it much thought, posting something every other day isn't all that hard to do.  I mean, if I'm wrong, tell me.  Otherwise lets up our game.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Red Wine on a School Night

Yes. I am a badass. It may seem ridiculous to most, but red wine and Oscar Wilde are possibly the best combination ever to grace my school nights. I just finished The Importance of Being Earnest which is probably full of too many witty remarks for any one sober person to handle, but is absolutely brilliant nontheless. Look at that: "Absolutely brilliant." I'm getting all early 1900s on your ass. It's hard to read Oscar Wilde and not feel as though you aren't sarcastic, smart, or classy enough. I think that's what makes it so wonderful. It's so full of chewy language and ridiculously complicated word play. Makes me want to put on white gloves and carry around a parisole while smoothly insulting anyone I have tea with.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Happy OBAMA Day!!


See that foto? Which one do you think became President of the United States of America some 30 years later?  Number 21 sure looks like a possibility but nah, thats the wrong answer.  The guy in the polo? Nope. Lemme give you a hint: its the lone African-American sporting an afro.

This is Barack Obama back in his high school days during his time on the island state of Hawaii.  He played ball and schooled all white boy ass' on the court. Obama's basketball skills turned out to be a prediction of the things to come.  Today, he not only kicked all the white boy politicians ass', he now is their boss.  Think about it.  All the white people eat his shit now just as they did some 30 years ago in Hawaii.  Congratulations Mr. President. You're an inspiration to us all. 

January 20, 2009 - date which will live in infamy - the United States of Americas was suddenly and deliberately taken over by the high school basketball star we now call President, Barack Hussein Obama.  Remember this day bitches.

Music Loves the Animal Kingdom


So it's pretty obvious that there has been a HUGE trend in the indie rock world that has to do with none other than furry creatures. It seems you can call your band anything that has the word Bear in it and you're set for success. Seriously though, count the indie bands that have gotten popular in the last year and at least half of them will have a name that is some kind of reference to an animal or nature: Grizzly Bear, Panda Bear, Minus the Bear, Deerhoof, Wolf Parade, Wolf Mother, the list goes on. I guess this has a lot to do with the recent folk rock explosion. Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge fan of this genre, but when anything with the words "Fur, (yeah the song by Blitzen Trapper which I love but is still a song about wolves and what not), Horse (Band of Horses among others), or Mountain (I don't even wanna go into it because the list would be endless)" becomes huge right off the bat, you have to wonder. What is it about animals that makes people wanna listen? Is it our loss of connection to our dear Mother Nature that's got us running toward anything animal? Just something to ponder. But what's next? Name your band Gorgeous Orangutang, Wounded Platypus? How about Chortling Yetti? I dare you. Oh and for the record, I'd like to say to those who pioneered the trend, (Arctic Monkeys, Modest Mouse, hell, Flock of Seagulls) I love you guys, and I don't think you were trying to name yourselves something gimmickey...dunno how that's spelled...just to get ahead. We acknowledge that you were first. :)